Inventory- the day of the uncut pizza

Our year end ritual at jail the office is to celebrate wholeheartedly with a kick ass game of Inventory.

It's the one day a year that everyone plays nicely with each other and everyone scrambles around working toward the same goal. To finish. (Cuz you don't go home till you're done.)
It's always fun to find out who unknowingly walked around the mill all day with a "NO VALUE- DO NOT INVENTORY" sticker on their back. Not to mention the giant stacks of pizza that we have delivered at noon to ensure sustenance and vigor.

"The pizza is here- you comin'?" I asked the Grand Poobah of Inventory.

"Ummm -- yah- unless you want to bring some up?"

"Ok - I can do that - what kind do you want?"

"Bacon"

"But of course-- I'll have bacon, too and if The Princess wants that then I'll just grab a whole box and bring it up."

I trotted downstairs to the conference room and made off with a bacon pizza. As I walked past the hungry hippos who had formed a line, one of them said "You're not gonna share?"

"Huh? What is that?" I think the hippo thought I was a pig but I didn't bother to slow down long enough to explain that this 16 " pizza was not just for me. I was on a mission.

As I opened the box and reached in for a slice my hand got confused and just hovered there while my eyes searched for a cut line. To my surprise there was none.

"it's not cut!" I gasped to The Princess.

"What?? I hope all the others were!" she laughed as I hurried off and grabbed a pair of scissors.

I lifted one side of the pizza and proceeded to cut it straight up the middle.

"Don't you think a knife would work better?" she asked.

"Nope- this works just nifty fine" I cut the rest in normal sized slices.

"I cut everything with those scissors ya know..."

"yah... like frayed edges of the carpet..."

"did you wash them first?" asked Poobah

"pfft nahh- just pretend we're camping"

"if I get scurvy I'm gonna blame it on you"

"seeing so scurvy is a lack of vitamin C I think you'll be just fine"

"what could I get?"

"trichinosis?" botulism?"

"I suppose it's possible we all may come down with an acute case of scissoritis but I'm not going to worry about it."

We all dug in and as far as I know everyone is still alive.